Rules of a Hawkey Fan
1. It is TOEWS (taves), not TOES. If you say it wrong, you will be eternally shunned.
2. Tazer is our captain, forever and always. He would look wrong wearing any other sweater.
3. Yes, Kaner is kind of a hot-headed, arrogant little bitch. But he is our hot-headed arrogant little bitch.
4. Hating on Corey Crawford is like hating on an adorable little three-year-old with big, fat cheeks. That's child abuse.
5. Viktor Stalberg is the fastest player in the league. Don't try to argue that.
6. You scream and yell and freak out during the anthem at the Madhouse. You are not only reppin' our team, but also our country.
7. When the other team is in the lead, after the initial shock is over, you don't continue to hate, you have faith that they can comeback and get it done.
8. Being a Canucks & a Blackhawks fan is like the biggest eternal sin you can commit. Yes, I do respect Vancouver. But I also always root for the other team.
9. You understand that when something about Coach Quennville is announced, the crowd is not boo-ing. They are QQQQQ-ing.
10. Andrew Shaw knows where the 2010 Stanley Cup-winning puck is. #shawfacts
11. There is no greater bromance than Kaner & Tazers'.
12. It is understood that Tazer has the best ass in all of North America.
13. Duncs & Seabs make up the best d-line in the league.
14. You believe & pray in a girl named Chelsea.
15. The world around you stops when the Hawks game is on. You get royally pissed off at anyone who tries to talk/make plans with you while you're watching it.
16. You can quote Eddie & Pats' famous lines. "BIG SAAAAVE!"
17. Seeing Niemi in a Sharks jersey makes you want to cry. Big, fat tears.
18. It is perfectly acceptable to replace "Let's go, Hawks!" with "Detroit sucks" when the Red Wings play at the Madhouse.
19. You want to gorge the eyeballs out of all the Detroit fans who boo the big Hoss when they play in their arena.
20. Baby Toews. Nuff said.
21. Patrick Sharp is the most beautiful man in Chicago.
22. Learn how to pronounce Hjalmarsson. Or be laughed at for a long time.
23. We stick together through thick & thin, because we all just have ONE GOAL.
